Getting ready
by bluewhite1310
Summary: A series of vignettes leading up to the events of 7x03, The Invisible Man.
1. Chapter 1

**These characters do not belong to me. They're just so well-written by Mr. Marlowe and co. that I cannot resist continuing their story. Any mistakes are entirely my own.**

He feels lost. His mind tells him he just crashed a car. His body, however, tells him that something more heinous has occurred. His skin feels scrubbed raw, and he feels so tired. He's researched typical airbag injuries, caused Derrick Storm to crash many a fancy car in high-stakes chases. So he knows what he should be feeling. Yet when he catalogues his body, he finds none of the expected hurts. And when he looks into her eyes, hears her say that he's been gone for two months, he feels the beginnings of a blind panic that he does not want to think too closely about. He tries to brush it off with humor. And then when she accuses him of staging his own abduction, he feels the world drop away from under his feet. He's angry at her until he sees the fear in her eyes, hears it in the pitch of her voice. Then the only thing he can think to do is to somehow, somehow convince her that he could never have done what she is accusing him of. He could never, ever leave her.

He's been to the loft after being discharged from the hospital. Loved being spoiled by his daughter and his mother. But she's stayed away. His daughter tells him she stayed away almost the entire time he was gone. She remained in the lot for about a week, but after the fifth consecutive time either Alexis or Martha shook her awake from a nightmare, screaming and crying in the big, empty, bed, she returned infrequently and never stayed the night. He lies in bed imagining he can still smell her, cherries and fear, and feels hollow with the longing to wrap her up in his arms. He waits for her to come back now that he's here, but three days pass, and she does not return. She knocks on his door the morning of the fourth day, her eyes still wary, her demeanor that of a cornered wild animal, and demands that he come with her to the campsite. He does not protest. He dons a suit even though his skin chafes from the weight of the material. Because, as cheesy as it sounds, it isn't home without her.

The confused guy in the trailer proves at least one part of his story. He sees her eyes clear a bit. The fear has diminished, but the pain is still there. So he tries to joke and cajole her back into being normal. Even though everything hurts, he puts on a good suit and a smile for Ryan and Esposito and the rest of the precinct. They look at him half-ashamed, half-defiant, but curious. Even Gates acknowledges him with a nod of her head. Beckett is the only one who avoids eye contact. He catches her looking at him constantly, but she will not meet his gaze. And he feels helpless. The universe has got to be conspiring against them, he thinks.

He stays at the precinct as long as he can bear it. His skin is still tender from his ordeal and his whole body still hurts. Eventually, he stands up from his chair. She flinches but still doesn't look at him. "Beckett," he speaks quietly, "Kate. Could I talk to you for a minute?" Finally, she raises her eyes to meet his. In them, he sees a mix of wariness and guilt and pain and fear and underneath it all, love. She looks like she is about to cry. She takes his hand gently, mindful of the scrapes on the palms and the still-burnt skin on the outside, and leads him into an empty interrogation room.

She stills just inside the door. Slowly, her entire body starts to shake. "I'm sorry, Castle!" she sobs out. "I shouldn't have accused you of faking your own disappearance. But I was so afraid." Her voice breaks, and it's more than Castle can take. He wraps his arms around her, and whispers into her hair, "Shh, Kate, sweetheart, it's okay, we're gonna be fine, just come back home, Kate, please come home with me. Please don't stay away any more. I miss you, I love you, Kate." She lifts her head from his chest then, and smiles a smile that takes his breath away. It's the perfect mixture of hope and love, with a tinge of sadness that makes him want to go back to their wedding day and erase everything that's happened in between, until he realizes that that is exactly what someone has done to him. She must see the sudden darkness in his eyes, because she chooses that moment to rise ever-so-slightly to her toes and place a kiss on the corner of his mouth. "I love you, too, babe. Let's go home."


	2. Chapter 2

**Castle, Beckett, and their story are not my own. I'm just having a little fun with the parts of it we don't get to see on TV. Any mistakes/misrepresentations are entirely my fault.**

He holds her that night, in the quiet of their bedroom, and revels in the way he finally feels complete. He has no memories of the two months he was missing – but that is not quite true. He has no words, no pictures, but he has feelings. Feelings that lurk at the grey-black edges of his conscious mind. And they are what let him tell Kate with complete confidence that he missed her those two months that he was away. They tell him that the companion of the completeness he feels now is the hollowness in his half-formed memories. For the second time in his life, he is afraid to even get close to a memory. Better by far to bury his nose in the sweet smell of her hair. Finally, Kate is in his arms. It is his last coherent thought before he falls asleep.

They do not awaken at night, though they cry in their sleep. Their unconscious embrace is enough comfort to them both. As usual, Kate wakes at six, long before the alarm she had set for seven thirty. She is wrapped completely around Castle, lying half atop him, head pillowed on his chest, legs entwined with his, his arms holding her tight. She cannot help blinking back fresh tears, even as she smiles. She makes no move to shift away. Instead, she begins to play with the neck of his t-shirt, stroking the elastic and cotton. She finds herself moving her hand lower to smooth the soft fabric over his chest and abdomen. She accidentally brushes over his nipple, then holds her breath when he moans softly. She risks a glance towards his face, and finds him still fast asleep. The pressure of his hands on her back hasn't changed, so she assumes that he isn't faking. She sighs and settles against him. With everything he – they – have gone through, she knows that he probably isn't ready yet to be intimate. Heck, she isn't even sure she is. Her mind and heart, that is. Her body is telling her to just go ahead and screw the consequences. But of course, she doesn't.

When he wakes, she is no longer in bed. He hears first her voice, then Alexis', and then the rattle of some utensils. He slumps back in bed for a second. He'd been having a terrible dream, where the shadows at the edges of his memories had started to come towards him, acquiring strange shapes. But somewhere within it, he vaguely remembers a warm hand soothing his fear, and knows that that was her presence. The memory of her warmth is what gives him the courage to rise and face this new morning.

He tries to be quiet as he enters the main space of his loft. For a moment, he feels almost like an outsider. Kate and Alexis are chatting easily about her college life, his daughter manning the stove while Kate cleans strawberries. He is struck all of a sudden by how tall Alexis has grown. The two months he was away suddenly seem real to him in a way they have not before now. His family has been changing while he was gone. There is a true warmth between Kate and his daughter that was not there before he left. They are no longer making an effort for his sake. What else has he missed? Suddenly he is no longer sure whether he has the right to intrude upon their privacy. Which is absurd, some part of him acknowledges. They would be the first ones to say so.

As he stands there, indecisive, Martha comes up to him, pats him gently on the shoulder. "Alexis was the only one who could convince Kate to take a break from looking for you, while you were gone. When they found your car burning, Alexis saw her trying to run into the wreckage to find you among the flames. I think that she understood then, for the first time, just how much Katherine loves you. She saw how Katherine refused to give up, even when everyone else told her that you were a lost cause. In the beginning Alexis talked to her just to figure out if they had found anything about you, but eventually they began to talk longer and longer, I think because it was a way to hold on to the man they both loved. And then, well, affection was inevitable, I think." Castle just blinks at her through her long, whispered speech, aware of the terrible pain his family had gone through, and unsure what his response should be. "They are both remarkable women," Martha finally states. "As are you, mother, as are you," he tells her, and draws her into a hug.


End file.
